Their Only Hope

[Azdgari]

This reminds me of another wonderful 'snowlands' fic I've read, and I'm excited to see where you'll take it, Snowy (xD).

I like the dialogue and dynamic between Haley and Simba, almost makes me wonder if Haley isn't a little fond of Simba, or if that kind of slight affection is just a part of her character. Either way, you've illustrated her very nicely. =]

In terms of constructive criticism, it's pretty limited. In the first chapter those paragraphs are a bit intimidating--I think perhaps cutting some of them into two separate paragraphs could make it easier to read. Also, just small things--a few missing end quotation marks, a couple sort of repetitious phrases, the small things like that. Until I realized how you were purposely keeping us in the dark about what the snow was, I was getting really aggravated with the constant talk of 'white stuff' but it made sense in the end.

All in all, it has a lot of promise, and I'm enjoying it so far. Snowball, I look forward to more. ^^

[SnowyCheetah]

Thanks dude =]