A Mother's Love

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » June 13th, 2009, 6:38 am

CHAPTER 17
There was a building wind in the Pride Lands. The temperature was dropping. Taka was laying on Pride Rock. He knew another storm was coming as the cool air blew through his black mane. His stomach growled as he scanned the lands for the lionesses that were out hunting. He rested his head on his forearms. Getting up, he walked down Pride Rock to try and find them. His ears pricked up when he heard a rustling from the bushes.

"Ow!" a lioness said. Zira tumbled out of the bush. "Erm...hello Taka." she smirked.

Taka nodded and said, "Why aren't you with the others?"

"I'm sure they'll manage without me. How have you been?"

"Fine. I'm fine." he said. He got up and they embraced. "I've missed you." he lied. She just wasn't what he needed right now. A nice, juicy Zebra leg would be nice, though. "Is 'life still good for you here'?" he mocked her.

Zira opened her eyes and looked at Taka. "You know we can't leave." she said.

"Right. Your family needs you." he said coolly.

She backed up, still trying to maintain a pleasant attitude.

"Oh, please. They don't need a leader anymore. Not with my brother strutting around."

She gave him a stern look and started to walk away. He scoffed at her as she walked past him. Lionesses. he thought. Lightning clashed in the distance. The storm was coming quickly now. He could see the rain falling far away. The stars were beginning to come out one by one. He looked up at them. Although his faith in them was shaken, Taka still looked up. A rain drop fell on his muzzle. Another on his back. Soon it was raining hard and his body was drenched in rain water. The storm clouds were beginning to cover the sky. He squinted up at them looking for some kind of sign.

"Anything! Anything to know that you're up there. Give me something just this one time. I'm lost. Please help me…I'm so lost." A tear merged with the rain water that ran down his face. "Help me find out where I belong. I'm asking…no…I'm begging you. Please answer me." He dropped his head down, starting to cry. He collapsed in the muddy earth and buried his head in his arms. "Just..this one time...please. I am the King's son...please...answer me. Answer me!" He looked up. The storm clouds enclosed the last few stars and darkness fell over the Pride Lands. "Why are you abandoning me? Please... lend me your wisdom." he coughed. Mud was in his mouth. "Am I not sincere enough?!" He spat it out and gritted his teeth. He shook his head and looked down again. "Fine" he said, "I'll do this on my own. My father's stories got me talking to a bunch of damned stars." He got up, still covered in mud. He could hear the hunting party over the rain. He saw that they had captured a Zebra. Perhaps the Kings favor me afterall. he said contemptuously. Taka ran over to the pride and began consuming the animal.
Moka
:D

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 6226
Joined: June 5th, 2008, 5:04 am
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 139

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby KiarasMate » June 13th, 2009, 8:46 am

Well, for as short as this chapter was Moka, it was awesome. ^^ Loved your use of description and you really brought out the essence of the scene. I feel so bad for Taka and that's saying a lot since of course we all know how he turns out, but it's just heartbreaking to read such a tragic past for such a vile character, you know? ^^ It's odd, but you can still feel the odd chemestry between Zira and Scar, even for the short time they interact. lol. Maybe that's just me thinking too deeply into the matter but I look forward to reading more of your fantastic story when you post it my friend and I'm curious to know how everything is going to play out. It's just so exciting! Don't keep me waiting too long for the next awesome chapter. lol. :)
KiarasMate
Legendary Lion


Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 9587
Joined: May 14th, 2009, 10:57 pm
Nickname(s): KM
Gender: Male

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Mike » June 13th, 2009, 8:59 am

You have a terrific amount of material here =) Let me first say congrats for getting this far! You do a great job trying to dig into Scar's personality in this scene. Scar as a child is something I've always found interesting, and you show him in a very believable way for me =) good work!
Image
Image
Image
Image
I host MLK Fan Artist of the Week in the Fan Art section
For three years I had roses, and apologized to no one.
Spoiler: show
Thanks to Jaynr for the avatar
Thanks to Simba for the TLK signature
Mike
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

King of Pride Rock

Posts: 5078
Joined: April 30th, 2009, 1:36 am
Location: Canada Eh?
Nickname(s): Michael Freeman, Mikeyboy69, Sid
Gender: Male

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Reika » August 8th, 2009, 3:10 am

I can't wait until you post more chapters. =D I was really engrossed in the entire story; you're an excellent writer!
ImageImageImage
Reika
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Skilled hunter of buffalo wings

Posts: 13
Joined: August 7th, 2009, 10:18 pm
Location: Arizona
Gender: Female
Pride Points: 0

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby CommandoTheLion » August 9th, 2009, 7:00 am

Very Awesome =D
Xbox GT:Ex0tiicZ-Add Me Please Or PM me your GT
ImageImage
Image << By Moka
Image << By Me
Image << By SM
CommandoTheLion
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Stein Um Stein!!! >:D mauer ich dich ein

Posts: 4102
Joined: August 9th, 2009, 4:41 am
Location: Western Austalia xD
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 0

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » August 14th, 2009, 3:24 pm

Thank you very much, you guys! It's great to hear such wonderful feedback from those who enjoyed my fan fic so far. I have been working on chapters in the future, so stay tuned as I find the time to write another one out! You may have to wait until my job slows down though :oops:
Moka
:D

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 6226
Joined: June 5th, 2008, 5:04 am
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 139

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Panda-chan » August 19th, 2009, 3:27 am

I didn't know you were still continuing this fanfic! Crap, I have a lot of reading to catch up on... :P
D̵̢̨̧̛͔̖͍̝̤̫̼̝̬̤̪̟͇͙̊̏̎͛̇̏͊͌̃̂̈́͂̒̄̅̚̚͘͝R̸̥̙͂̀̾̑̊̀̉́̀́̐̄̊̿̈́̄͑̐̕͝I̴̗̯̼̳͉͕̺̤̖̝̪̫̊͛͝͠Ǹ̵̨̧͈̮̦̖̝͈̥̗͕̭͉̺̲͕̥͔͎̹͖͙͇̲̘̩̞͓̦̦̯̮̙̜̼̝͈̣̺̰̺̟̙̫̫ͅK̶̢̢̡̧̢̛̻͎̘͉̦͚̳̗̱̗̮̫̲͎̟͚͖̠̣̺͎̠̤͈̩̞͈͚̣̳̟̣̓͊͊̍̀̇͆́͐̔̔̅̿̅̋̈̈́̔̈̒̌̆̃̇͗̂̐̽́͊̋͗̚̕͘͜͜͠͝͝ ̴̧̧̢̧̧̢̛̦̗̦̭͔̝͎̘͍͚͈̰̦̲͍̥͚̱͓̦̙̞̱̜̹̍̉́̿̃͆̆̾̀̍̊͛̈́̽̈́̀̋̒̾͗͗͂̾̊̇̃̈́̋́̓̄̂̐͊͂̏̿̅͂̚͘̚͜͠͝͠ͅͅͅͅW̵̢̧̨̥͇̳̩͍̪̓̉͊̓̏͜͠Ã̵̧̨͍͚̭̱̦̯̣͓̱̫͑͋̋̾̎͑̽̔̒͆̉͒͑͆̎͑̑̒͋̑̀̒̿͑̄͋̒͆̑͆̔̈̈́͂͆̾̾̌̃̏̊̓͘͜͝͠͠T̸̨̧̛̮̙̰͇̹̭̥̙̝̱̼̥͖̟̃̔̑̒̓̈́͂̈́̂̓̂̎̋͊̌͋̂͂̃̂͝͠͠͝ͅĘ̴̧̡̢̧̡̠͉͉͕̤̳̘̖̙̭͙͕̻͍̖̗͙̯͈͔͋̄̾̄͛͌͌͒͛̇̎͋̉̈́̆̈́̍̎̆̒͑̒̅̋̊̄̈̿͒̈̋̾̊́̔̚͝͠͝͠ͅŖ̸̠̫͓̞͈̫̉̂
Panda-chan
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

STAY HYDRATED, FOLKS

Posts: 4584
Joined: June 6th, 2008, 11:25 pm
Location: [error]
Nickname(s): Fo' shizzle
Telegram: 6834232905344686445634231897968563522324236894284563523722616678
Gender: Female
Pride Points: 105

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby LilTiger » August 30th, 2009, 3:10 am

Awesome fanfic so far Moka! Really love it! Since it has Uru who I love!!
ImageImageImage
Sig by Simbaholic, userbars by WildSimba and Simba.
LilTiger
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

~*~

Posts: 6291
Joined: May 3rd, 2009, 1:10 pm
Location: No where you need to know :P
Nickname(s): LT, Lil, Tiger, LilT, ZM, Zira, Bored
Gender: Female

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby CommandoTheLion » September 10th, 2009, 6:27 am

Very nice story cant wait for more
Xbox GT:Ex0tiicZ-Add Me Please Or PM me your GT
ImageImage
Image << By Moka
Image << By Me
Image << By SM
CommandoTheLion
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Stein Um Stein!!! >:D mauer ich dich ein

Posts: 4102
Joined: August 9th, 2009, 4:41 am
Location: Western Austalia xD
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 0

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » September 26th, 2009, 6:02 am

CHAPTER 18
The zebra was eaten. The storm was coming to an end. The last of the thunderclouds were still clashing in the distance. The rain was turning into a light drizzle. All the eyes were upon him as Taka entered the den. The drying mud in his fur almost made him unrecognizable. His mane was drenched. He was cold. Taka walked over to the nearest corner and sat down. He flopped down on his side and faced the stone wall so that no one could see his face.

He heard a warm voice behind him. It was his mother. "Taka, where have you been?" she asked. "That was a powerful storm, I was worried."

"I'm fine, mother." he said, not turning around.

She stayed with him that night, keeping him warm and shielding him from the cold breeze of the night. He didn't tell her this, but he was grateful for her company.

--

The next morning Taka and Uru were the first to wake up. The sunlight reached their eyes first. Uru stretched her forearms and yawned. Taka put his paw over his eyes and rolled away from the sunlight.

"Taka, wake up. Are you still bothered by Mufasa's decision?" She asked.

"I just found out that my entire life will be meaningless." He said quietly. "I might need a day or two to recover."

Her heart sank from his cold words. "Taka...don't say such things." She said. "Come with me, let's go for a walk like we always did when you were just a cub."

"When I was just a cub, I believed that I was important. Now it doesn't matter."

"Please Taka. For me."

"For you." He said, getting up. "Because you're the only one who has ever been honest with me."

"Thank you." She said, as they walked out of the den.

Uru and Taka walked together for a long time without saying anything. Uru enjoyed the surroundings. The birds, the trees, the endless grasses and the beautiful sunrise while Taka drooped his head and watched his paws. As they reached the edge of the Pride Lands gorge, Uru stopped and looked at Taka. She lifted his head with her paw so they met eye to eye. Taka turned his head away.

"Look at me, son." She said to him.

Taka obeyed. Their eyes met again.

"What did you notice during our walk?" She asked.

Taka raised his eyebrow and said, "What?"

"I watched the sun cast a red hue across the bountiful lands that have been bestowed upon us. I watched as the lands became busy with abundant life, watched as the birds sprang from their nests, watched the ants begin their ascent high into the acacia trees. I watched the gazelles and wildebeests and zebras graze in peace and harmony, watched as the savanna grasses glistened from the night's dew and swayed in the cool morning breeze. So, I ask again. What did you notice during our walk?"

"It was cruel of you to put me in this position." He replied.

"I'm teaching you that we can only find the good things in life if we are open to them." She said. "If you keep your head down and ignore it all...well, you'll miss out on a lot of beautiful things."

"And tomorrow I will ask you what you remembered about today. Will you remember the birds and the grass? Or will the fact that our family is based on lies make you forget?"

"A long time ago, when you were young, you made me a promise. You promised me that you would not become jealous of Mufasa. Do you remember?"

"As a cub I was willing to listen, but nothing you can say can heal me now. I am not jealous of Mufasa. I never was and never will be. I would never envy someone who breaks promises and lies to claim kingship and power. Yes, I remember the day I made that promise. You said I should not desire what others have. That I have a home, a family and a heart, those which matter most. Well I've lost them. The home which I considered mine was taken from me when I was denied my right as king. My family betrayed me and my heart? Please. A heart which was so easily scorched by the conceited lies and hate which everyone seems so eager to dole upon me. No, mother, I've lost what matters most. I know what you're trying to do, but don't waste your time on me anymore."
Moka
:D

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Posts: 6226
Joined: June 5th, 2008, 5:04 am
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 139

PreviousNext

Return to Fan Fictions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

cron